


Far Horizons

by MissVoltara



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Cultural Differences, Elf/Human Relationship(s), F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Love, Love Confessions, Marriage, Mutually Unrequited, Reluctant Dovahkiin | Dragonborn, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-11 00:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20144425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissVoltara/pseuds/MissVoltara
Summary: Lydia pines for the Dragonborn. Believing that he'll never be interested in her, Lydia tries to suppress her feelings.





	1. 1.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia pines for the Dragonborn.

_Lydia_

Thaddeus often took Lydia with him to Jorrvaskr and today was no different.

Stepping out into the mid-morning sun, Thaddeus flashed her an affectionate smile before walking down the street in the direction of the great mead hall. Lydia fell in step behind him. Being his housecarl meant she would have to walk behind him in public but she didn't mind so much. From her vantage point she could admire her Thane without him noticing.

As they walked, she admired Thaddeus' posture and his figure. The Dragonborn was tall and and muscular and his armour accentuated his narrow waist. He looked better in his fine clothes but the elven armour he had procured suited him as well.

Guards and citizens alike muttered greetings and well-wishes to the Thane as they moved past. Seldom did they ever acknowledge Lydia's presence but that came with the territory. Lydia was just a lowly guard; a human shield for Thaddeus to use when it suited him.

A woman from Whiterun's market square, a young brunette named Ysolda, smiled at Thaddeus and greeted him in a sultry voice. "It's a fine day with you around."

The elf politely returned the greeting.

Lydia gritted her teeth in annoyance and made a point to ignore Ysolda. The housecarl could only be thankful to the Divines that Thaddeus hadn't stopped to speak to the young woman. Lydia suppressed the urge to gag and roll her eyes whenever Ysolda made moon eyes at her Thane and shamelessly threw herself at him. Ysolda had more tact than most of the women who approached Thaddeus but Lydia found it all rage-inducing nonetheless.

They climbed the steps into the Cloud District, passing under the blooming canopy of the great tree, Gildergreen.

The priest, Heimskr, stood in front of the shrine of Talos and was shouting a sermon about the outlawed god as usual. Lydia wondered how the man's voice withstood the constant strain he put it through in the name of Talos. It was a miracle that Heimskr could still speak so loudly and clearly.

The pair entered Jorrvaskr only to be greeted by Vilkas. The Companion greeted his Harbinger fondly.

"The hostage has been returned to Eastmarch," Thaddeus said. "Mercifully, he was unharmed. Those bandits won't be a problem anymore."

Vilkas clapped the elf on the shoulder. "That's good news. You bring honour to yourself and the Companions."

Vilkas reached to his belt and unclasped a small purse of coins before tossing it to Thaddeus. "Here's your share my friend. The family paid us handsomely."

The Companion gave a curt nod to Lydia. "You willing to cross swords with me again?"

"I'd like that." Lydia beamed.

"Very well. Come on then."

The trio crossed Jorrvaskr and went outside to the exercise yard. Torvar, Ria and the dark elf Athis were seated at one of the tables. Torvar clutched a tankard of mead in one hand as per usual and raised it in greeting. Ria and Athis followed suit. Thaddeus joined them as Vilkas and Lydia descended the steps to the exercise yard.

The two Nords faced each other, standing a few feet apart. Vilkas gave Lydia a wolfish grin before he shouted over to Thaddeus.

"I'll have you know Harbinger that Lydia's improved greatly since she started training with me."

The wood elf chuckled. "I've noticed."

Lydia looked to the ground in embarrassment, her face turning red. The housecarl was trained by the guards at Dragonsreach but travelling with Thaddeus had shown her that her skills in combat were lacking. Since Thaddeus and Vilkas were Shield-Brothers, the Nordic warrior had charitably offered to train Lydia further. _The Harbinger's beloved housecarl can't go into battle woefully unprepared now can she?_ He had said with a wink.

"Now if she had trained with anyone else, I doubt she would have made any progress."

"None of us are here to hear you boast Vilkas!" Athis scoffed.

There was collective laughter as Vilkas and Lydia drew their swords and performed some simple stances as a warm up. Lydia tried not to be self-conscious but it was proving to be difficult with three Companions and her Thane watching.

Vilkas backed off, the warm up completed. "Not bad, your agility has improved though you are still a little too impulsive." He appraised her.

Lydia glanced at the spectators. Torvar leaned on the table, his arms folded neatly in front of him, looking as content as ever. Ria and Athis regarded the scene before them with an air of indifference, clearly not that interested or impressed in the housecarl. Thaddeus, on the other hand, had leaned back in his chair with his hands resting in his lap and a faint smile on his lips. The smile broadened somewhat when their eyes met.

Lydia quickly averted her gaze and focused her attention back on her mentor. The Nord gave her a coy look.

"Let's begin."

The warriors parried for quite some time before Vilkas managed to knock Lydia to the ground. The housecarl's sword fell out of her hand as she landed harshly on her back. She raised a hand and used it to shield her face from the afternoon sun. Her breath came in ragged gasps.

"You're supposed to train her, not cripple her!" Athis scolded though his voice lacked any real malice.

"Oh she's fine. Come on Lydia, up with you."

Vilkas pulled the sore housecarl up onto her feet and brushed the dirt off of her back. Lydia retrieved her sword and sheathed it before joining Vilkas at the sitting area. She wiped her brow and collapsed into a chair.

Lydia hadn't noticed that Ria had left and was replaced by Njada Stonearm. Njada glared at her from across the table. Lydia returned the hateful stare then promptly ignored the disgruntled Companion. The others were taking turns in regaling the group with tales of their exploits. Much like Thaddeus, Lydia was contented with just listening.

The housecarl never involved herself with the Companions or their business unless invited to. The group of warriors, for the most part, accepted the fact that Lydia was their Harbinger's shadow and accompanied him everywhere. They politely tolerated her though she could sense that she wasn't entirely welcome. Vilkas and Farkas were the only ones who went out of their way to befriend her. Njada did little to hide her contempt for Lydia but then again, Njada detested people in general.

It was fine by Lydia if Njada didn't like her, she could deal with that. She could not, however, abide by the Companion's blatant disrespect of Thaddeus as a warrior and Harbinger.

The housecarl looked to Thaddeus. The elf had taken off his helmet so Lydia could clearly see his profile, the way the sun caught in his ebony hair, the strong nose, the prominent cheekbones, and sharp jawline.

What was there to dislike about Thaddeus? He was valiant, kind, wise, intelligent, and strong both mentally and physically. He didn't expect nor ask anything of anyone. He was a man of action. Lydia believed that the elf was worthy of his fame and the awe and respect it had earned him.

He was worthy of respect.

Lydia felt someone staring at her and looked up find Vilkas regarding her with an amused glint in his eyes. He gently shook his head and snorted as he stood up. He excused himself and squeezed Lydia's shoulder as he passed her by.

Luckily, Thaddeus had no desire to linger for much longer and bid the Companions farewell. Torvar and Athis waved the pair off while Njada remained silent and sullen.

"Why don't you take a bath and rest when we get home? I'm sure you're sore from yesterday and your training." Thaddeus' expression and voice were kind as he spoke.

Lydia tiredly nodded her head, her heart fluttering at his tone of voice. _I will but I wish you would join me._ She wanted to say. Perhaps if she suggested it, he would accept the invitation. After all, she had always heard how Bosmer were more....._amorously inclined_ compared to other races. Lydia wasn't above testing that theory for herself but the only problem was that Lydia didn't want her Thane to think that she was some cheap slag.

Thaddeus regarded her as friend and nothing more. Why would he be interested in her? There were other women who were far more talented, more intelligent, more beautiful than she was. Women who had influence and power. Women who came from wealthy families. As much as she detested the attention he received from other women, Lydia could understand why.

It didn't make it any easier to endure though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've recently got around to playing Skyrim for the first time and had this idea rattling around in my head for awhile. Admittedly, I'm not as well-versed on Elder Scroll lore as many so this fic is based entirely on my in-game experiences. I don't plan on making this an especially long fic but plans often go awry so I'll have to see where this goes.


	2. 2.

The following morning Lydia left Breezehome and headed for the market, a small purse of coins at her hip and an empty basket in one hand. She held her head up with a smile and hummed quietly to herself.

Thaddeus had left Whiterun with Ivarstead in mind. The Dragonborn had told Lydia that he had to return to High Hrothgar to learn more about an ancient and obscure Shout known as Dragonend. Lydia couldn't always quite comprehend everything that Thaddeus had told her about his powers--it all seemed so surreal to her--but she understood the importance of learning and honing one's power. 

The housecarl had insisted on coming with him (what if he needed her?) but the elf declined and had left her with promises of his return and money to purchase food and supplies for the house.

So off Lydia went. She would gladly run errands for her Thane, even if it was lonesome when he wasn't around.

Lydia was about to approach Carlotta's market stall when she spotted two familiar faces by the well.

"Farkas? Vilkas? I'm surprised to see you two here."

The twins ceased their conversation and waved at their friend.

"Lydia!" Vilkas said. "Farkas and I decided to go on a leisurely stroll for a stroll around the city. It's better than staying in Jorrvaskr all day."

The Companion peered over Lydia's shoulder. "Harbinger isn't with you? You two are usually attached at the hip."

Lydia's face became flushed, prompting the twins to guffaw at her obvious discomfort. 

"Leave her be Vilkas. Harbinger left for High Hrothgar remember? He told us about it earlier this week."

Vilkas wore a puzzled expression before realization dawned on him. "I remember now. He went off to see the Greybeards. He was rather vague about it."

"It mustn't be all that important if he decided to leave you behind." Farkas said.

"Oh. Well. Someone has to look after his house. Besides--" Lydia held up her basket up. "I have some shopping to do."

The twins trailed behind Lydia as she browsed Carlotta's stall. Once she grabbed what she needed, she paid the woman then invited the twins back to Breezehome.

The three set off down the street.

"I didn't know wood elves ate fruits and vegetables," Farkas remarked. "I thought they were all carnivores and cannibals."

"Harbinger seems too civilized for that."

"When they're outside of Valenwood they may stray from such practices. Thaddeus told me as such." Lydia couldn't help but shudder at the thought of her Thane ravenously tearing into the recently deceased body of a mortal or an animal, heedless of how bloodied his hands and mouth became. 

"Has he ever ate raw meat in front of you?" Farkas sounded horrified.

"He hasn't. He's quite courteous that way."

Once inside Breezehome, Lydia stored her purchases away and the three friends pulled some chairs up and sat around the hearth. Lydia served her friends ale but they declined any offer of food.

Lydia was able to forget about Thaddeus for some time as the twins bantered and shared the latest gossip around Whiterun.

"You know Ysolda has had her heart set on buying the Bannered Mare for quite some time. She's a tenacious lass so I have no doubt she'll get it." Vilkas said.

"She practically lives in the market square." Farkas quipped.

Vilkas looked to Lydia. "She's quite interested in Thaddeus as well."

Lydia's jaw tensed. "Is she now?"

"We overheard her talking to Fralia. She wants to win him over. She was hoping to buy an Amulet of Mara but ol' Fralia didn't have one."

Lydia glowered at the hearth. "She's not the first woman to vie for his affections. Many do."

The twins said nothing and exchanged a knowing look.

Vilkas tilted his head at his friend. "I take it you haven't told him?"

"Told who about what?"

"Thaddeus. About how you feel towards him."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Vilkas harrumphed. "You're terrible at hiding your thoughts. You watch him and gaze longingly at him a lot you know. Even Skjor has started making jokes about it."

"Why don't you say something to him?" Farkas asked.

"He only thinks of me as a friend."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. Unless, of course, he's made that explicitly clear. Has he mentioned anything to you?"

Lydia hesitated. "No."

Vilkas hummed in response, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Lydia narrowed her eyes. "What are you planning?"

"You should tell him," Vilkas said. "We'll help you."

Lydia balked at the suggestion while Farkas groaned in exasperation. He jostled his brother. "I thought you didn't like meddling in people's affairs Vilkas."

"I'm not meddling in anything!" Vilkas protested. "I'm not suggesting that we get directly involved just that we....._nudge_ Lydia and Harbinger in the right direction."

"Thaddeus isn't a Nord, Vilkas, he might take offense to the Nord way of expressing love," Lydia visibly deflated and sighed. "With the war on, there's no time for romance."

"Well he's lived in Skyrim for almost a year now," Farkas said. "I doubt he would expect you to know and follow Bosmer customs."

"Write him a letter if you don't have the courage to speak."

Lydia could appreciate the twins' intentions and their genuine concern for both her and the Dragonborn. But there was something they neglected to remember; the housecarl lived with Thaddeus. If she misread him and overstepped his boundaries than she would damage their friendship. It would make things tense and awkward between them.

"He's always so kind to you." Vilkas said.

"He's kind to everyone." Lydia retorted.

"But he's especially nice to you."

Lydia glared at the Companion and he put his hands up. "I'm just saying. At least consider what we said."

Farkas rolled his eyes at his brother before turning his attention back to their disturbed friend. "Did Thaddeus say when he'd be back?"

Lydia shrugged. "No, not really. He said he'd be coming straight back home once he was done talking to the Greybeards."

"Then you at least have a day or two to think about what you're going to do."

"I didn't say I was doing anything!"

"Maybe not but you do have a decision to make. Either take a chance and tell him or remain a miserable, lovesick fool for decades to come."

Lydia pursed her lips in displeasure. Farkas had a point but the housecarl certainly wasn't going to openly admit that. Not yet anyway.

Mercifully, the twins dropped the subject and spoke of other things at length instead. The pair didn't linger for much longer and left Lydia alone with her thoughts.

Lydia wasn't sure what she was going to do. Why did the twins have to bother her? Now she was winding herself up over the prospect of writing a sordid missive to Thaddeus. The housecarl was no wordsmith so the thought of composing a serious letter was daunting. How could she put all her thoughts onto paper?

Lydia surveyed the space around her. The house was lonely and vacant without Thaddeus and the twins leaving her alone with her troubled thoughts only heightened the feeling. It was always kept so neat and pristine but the elf's various treasures were still visible here and there, silent proof that he was the master of Breezehome. Only he was absent. There was a time when the Thane's absence didn't bother Lydia but that had gradually changed.

Admittedly, Lyda wasn't thrilled to find out that the Thane that she bound to was a wood elf. A savage, unkempt, carnivorous wood elf. A being who was likely a cannibal as well. At least he wasn't a high elf, damnable bastards, but she had heard enough horror stories about his people to have her reservations.

Regardless of her opinion of elves, Lydia had an obligation to Thaddeus and fulfilled her duties to the best of her abilities. She wanted to dislike the elf, the old enemy of her people, but she found it difficult to do so. Thaddeus was far more amiable than she had expected so any bitter resentment towards him felt unwarranted.

She fought by his side, defended him, rescued him from danger, and slayed countless dragons with him. She fearlessly faced danger on his behalf as she was expected to. Only, her duties became more personal to her as time went on. Thaddeus was no longer some Thane that she was expected to trail behind; he was her closest friend and most valuable of companions.

Thaddeus was rather lenient with Lydia compared to how other Thanes treated their housecarls. He would ask her about her family and upbringing, tell her anecdotes from his childhood, crack jokes, and point out the beauty of the flowers that grew around Skyrim. At first Lydia had found it off-putting but she quickly realized that he was only trying to befriend her, to make her less nervous around him. 

The elf certainly wasn't the feral creature that she believed him to be. The Nord was ashamed of her prejudice and hated to dwell on it for long.

Lydia put off Farkas' suggestion for the rest of the day. She busied herself with cleaning and polishing her armour and sword, her mind in a whirl over what she'd say or write to her Thane.

She cleaned the weapons that Thaddeus had on display for good measure.

By nightfall she was emotionally exhausted. After putting out the candles and hearthfire downstairs she went up to her room and changed into her nightclothes. She lay under her fur blankets in the darkness of her room, staring up at the rafters.

She wondered where Thaddeus was, what he was doing, and how he was feeling. Did he ever think of her too? Did he worry about her the way she worried about him? Before she could linger on such thoughts much longer, she shook her head in disbelief and rolled over onto her side.

Lovesick fool? Farkas was right about that.


	3. III.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thaddeus is left alone with his thoughts on his search for Dragonend.

_ Thaddeus _

As Thaddeus climbed back down from High Hrothgar, his conversation with Paarthurnax replayed in his mind. The elf certainly wasn't expecting a dragon of all things to greet him at the Throat of the World. In retrospect, perhaps he should have expected it but the whole ordeal still threw him for a loop.

_You're a dragon?_

_I am as my father Akatosh made me. As are you......Dovahkiin._

Thaddeus never would have thought that he'd have a civilized conversation with a dragon. Paarthurnax was so different from what he'd come to expect from the winged beasts. He was wise, rational, and civil; a far cry from the rest of his kind. Thaddeus found actually enjoying Paarthurnax's company, though he suspected his dovah soul had a hand in his fondness of the ancient being.

Much to the Bosmer's dismay, Paarthurnax could not teach him Dragonend. No dragon could, no mortal alive could. The ancient could teach him any Shout or Word of Power but not the one he sought after. He would have to find an Elder Scroll and travel back in time to Alduin's previous defeat.

So off to the College of Winterhold he would go.

He hoped and prayed that the mages would have some clue for him to follow. If they didn't then Thaddeus would be left to scour Skyrim lost and hopeless. What if he wasn't able to learn Dragonend in time?

Thaddeus let out a huff. Living in Skyrim brought him wealth, prestige, friends and Lydia for which he was grateful. Even so, being in Skyrim has also brought him stress, heartbreak, and suffering beyond what he thought he could endure. He had assassins sent after him, the Thalmor wanted him dead, gangs of thugs would ambush him on the road, gory seekers hoping to test their mettle would challenge him in dingy inns, and he was constantly treated with suspicion by the Nords.

Most Nords certainly resented the fact that their hero from legend was an Elf and not the Nord they were expecting and preferred. Thaddeus didn't expect to be treated like royalty but the rude remarks and behaviour he was subjected to became unbearable at times.

_You should have stayed in your precious forests Elf!_

_Damn ungrateful Nords._ Thaddeus has half a mind to return to Valenwood and forget about this whole Dragonborn business but a stubborn part of him refused. It would be selfish of him to turn back now. Leaving would also mean abandoning Lydia, unless the housecarl came with him. He doubted Lydia would ever leave her homeland and he didn't expect her to.

The College turned out to be just as frustrating to deal with. The Orc, Urag, in charge of the library was a prickly fellow and he only had two rather confusing books on Elder Scrolls. However, he did have a lead: Septimus Signus.

Septimus lived north of the College in an iceberg. Thaddeus would go see him but he had arrived at the College at nightfall and he was exhausted from his travels. He would resume his mission tomorrow. The Dragonborn thanked Urag for his help, went up to the Arch-Mage's Quarters, stripped out of his armour and flopped down onto the bed unceremoniously.

* * *

Septimus Sigmus was difficult to keep up with. Thaddeus now understood why his book was nearly incomprehensible. The man moved jerkily and spoke in unpredictable speech patterns, often deviating from his initial point.

"So where is the Elder Scroll?" The elf interrupted Septimus' blithering.

"Oh, well, it's in Alftand, southwest of here. In the depths of Blackreach." Septimus rooted through his belongings and gave Thaddeus an Attunement Sphere and a Lexicon. 

Finally.

Thaddeus trekked back across the ice, cursing Skyrim's climate. Skyrim was beautiful but he hated Windhelm and Winterhold because of the unbearable cold. He trudged through the snow and raised his shield to help protect him from the wind. Heading southwest brought him further away from civilization, reminding him of how alone he was, how vulnerable he was without anyone to have his back.

Maybe he should have let Lydia accompany him. She had insisted upon it but he had refused. Thaddeus wanted to be alone to clear his head which had become foggy with thoughts of his housecarl. She was becoming a distraction and he needed his concentration more than ever.

Lydia didn't like Thaddeus very much when they first met, he could tell. Her distaste for him was obvious though she followed him without complaint and performed her duties to the letter. The elf wanted to win her favour because he hated the tension that had existed between them, how uncomfortable he made her simply by being what he was.

There was no such thing as housecarls in Valenwood nor did Thaddeus grasp what a Thane was when Jarl Balgruuf granted him the title. He also had found it surprising how his housecarl, his guard, was a woman. Not that he doubted Lydia's strength, she certainly looked tough, but back home he would never have a woman assigned to him as a guard. 

Wouldn't his mother just be so pleased to know that he was living with an unmarried woman? Forget that Lydia was his friend and guard, his mother would still be chuffed with him for the taboo living arrangement. His mother had always had been prudent but not him. He had written to his mother about Lydia simply because he was terrible at lying to her and she was powerless to do anything about it.

He had gotten a reply from her last month where she encouraged him to marry in order to avoid scandal but he didn't take her words seriously. He wasn't in Valenwood anymore so his association with Lydia wouldn't damage his reputation anyway. The rules of his homeland had little weight in Skyrim. If she thought living with his female housecarl was scandalous and she was going to be bowled over by his account of the Companions.

Thaddeus' stomach rumbled. He'd been so focused on his quest that he was neglecting himself. If Lydia was here she'd nag at him for not eating or having a proper rest. He would eat but not until he arrived at Alftand.

The muscles in his legs slowly began to ache and burn from walking through the snow. Even when he found a clear oath to tread, the wind and snow pushed back against him. Down the mountain pass he could see a cliff where the peaks of three Dwarven towers stood entombed in ice. A camp of dilapidated shacks dotted the cliff side and a recently snuffed out campfire lay smoking in the centre of the cluster of structures. 

This had to be the place. 

He approached the settlement, his sword drawn, and was greeted by a rather hefty Nord bandit. He rushed out of one of the shacks with a great-sword in hands. He yelled obscenities at the Elf as he swung his sword at his adversary. 

Thaddeus narrowly avoided the bandit's strike and brought his own sword down through the man's shoulder. The elven blade cleaved through the man's hide tunic into the tender flesh and sinew beneath it. The bandit shrieked and collapsed into the snow, staining it crimson.

Two more bandits appeared to investigate the commotion 

and were quickly cut down. Thaddeus studied the corpses for a moment before looting them of their gold coins and rooting through the shacks. There wasn't much to be found besides clothes, tools, and items that he didn't need. They clearly came here to find riches in the ruins but either unsuccessful or hadn't had the chance to into the abandoned city yet.

Lying on the table in one of the shacks were two dead hares. They looked fresh; the bandits must have just gotten them. What luck.

Thaddeus took a knife out of his pack, sat down, and made quick work of one of the cadavers. He skinned it then tore into the animal's soft flesh without a second thought. Before long, he had devoured the hare leaving only a pile of bare bones. 

Sated, Thaddeus butchered the other hare and bagged the meat and fur for later.

Sitting in the shack didn't offer him the best shelter but it reprieved him of the merciless wind. His nose, cheeks and throat bore signs of wind burn and stung greatly because of it. The ache in his legs lessened but they were still sore. Nonetheless, he had to move on.

Some snow had accumulated in the corner of the shack so the elf used it to clean off the blood on his gloves and face before heading back outside. He ventured to the cliff and found a set of wooden stairs that led down the face of the glacier. He followed the steps down until they brought him to a set of large, gold doors. 

"This must be the way in." He muttered to himself.

All Thaddeus had to do now was avoid countless death-traps and fend of a legion of Falmer and relentless Dwarven machines. With that in mind, he squared his shoulders and entered the abandoned city.


	4. IV.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thaddeus learns first-hand why it's a bad idea to go through a Dwarven ruin alone.

Thaddeus admired the Dwarven ruins that dotted Skyrim's landscape. He could appreciate the ingenuity and intelligence that the Dwarves must have possessed in order to construct their elaborate cities and automatons.

He didn't, however, appreciate being attacked by those same automatons.

The Dragonborn had made it to the Tower of Mzark where the Elder Scroll was being held. Using his Thu'um on the swarms of Falmer did wonders but Dwarven Spheres and Centurions couldn't be dealt with as easily. He had also stumbled upon the remains of a failed expedition before finding the last two survivors bickering with one another. The two fought and killed each other, allowing Thaddeus to continue on and use the Attunement Sphere to enter Blackreach with little difficulty. 

Thaddeus hadn't been eager to cross Blackreach. The subterranean cave was overwhelming in its vast size and was always riddled with Falmer. The creatures were awfully adept at skulking about in the darkness and dimly lit areas of caves and underground ruins. The Falmer with their blind eyes, deformed faces, ghostly skin, and throaty snarls unnerved Thaddeus. They were elves once but what had occurred to morph them into the ghastly animals they were now, he didn't know. He thanked Y'iffe that his Bosmer blood allowed him to resist the poison that the Falmer laced their weapons with lest he die at their hands.

He was certain that his body was littered with egregious bruises, he had been knocked around by a Dwarven Centurion after all. He was certainly in enough pain from the incident. Thaddeus had cuts on his arms and legs around the elbows and knees and a gash along the side of his neck, courtesy of a Dwarven Sphere. His head throbbed from a blow he had suffered at the hands of a Falmer. The same strike broke the skin on his temple so the side of face was adorned with dried blood.

How could he have been so foolish? He should have brought Lydia, one of the Companions, or Faendal with him. Thaddeus was a strong fighter but even he was being bested by the inhabitants, living or otherwise, of the ancient city.

The elf experienced vertigo as he ascended the ramp. His stomach heaved and he retched over the side of the pathway, coughing and sputtering. He swayed on his feet for a moment before stubbornly pressing on. He'd gotten himself this far, there was no way he was going to allow himself to inconveniently pass out.

When he made it to the top he continued onto a set of stairs which led up to a platform. There were four buttons side-by-side and to the far right stood a pedestal with an oddly shaped slot. Thaddeus stared at it in confusion before he gasped in realization. He fumbled for the Lexicon and plot it in the slot, grinning deliriously as the mysterious item lit up and its edges shifted.

Thaddeus surveyed the room from where he was. He had seen a machine like this before in another city much like this one, though he couldn't recall the name. He had to align the circular glass panes in the ceiling with the three rays of light that was being reflected off of an array of large magnifying glasses. The source of the light came from an opening at the top of the tall ceiling where it shone down and gave the vacant room its glow. In the midst of the blinding light, Thaddeus could make out the Elder Scroll.

After some frustrating minutes of pressing the buttons and listening to the grating screech of metal-on-metal, the Elder Scroll was lowered to the floor. Thaddeus grabbed the Lexicon and hobbled back down the stairs. His annoyance with the Dwarven contraption fading as he drew closer to his prize.

Thaddeus stared at the Elder Scroll in astonishment. He slowly walked towards it and plucked it off of its perch. The Scroll was lightweight and silver in colour. A seam ran along the side, what Thaddeus could only presume was the way to open it. He was going to delay opening it. He had to attend to his injuries first.

Behind him stood a doorway with a corridor that led to an elevator. Thaddeus went through it and returned to the surface.

Once outside he crouched in the snow and drank a health potion from his pack for the pain. He took off his helmet. The eagle feathers on either side of the face and the beak above the brow were bent out of shape. He laid his shield down and sat next to it; there were dents and ugly scratches adorning its usually flawless facade. Looking down at his body revealed that his armour, gauntlets and boots were heavily damaged and would need repair.

Thaddeus' pain was beginning to subside and his dizziness all but disappeared. He washed the blood off of his face and neck and used a blanket from his pack to dry off. He ate some snow to quench his thirst.

Dawn was breaking. The wind had come to a standstill and the morning was calm and eerily quiet. He took a deep breath and exhaled, watching the steam from his breath dissipate into the frigid air. He grabbed the Scroll and stood up.

Those ignorant of the Scroll or ill-prepared to read it would be rendered blind. Thaddeus had learned all he could about the Elder Scrolls and the risk involved, about their power and the knowledge they possessed, about the monks who read them and gradually but proudly went blind from exposure to the Scrolls. A small price to pay for the knowledge that they'd gained from the Scrolls. At worst his eyesight would weaken somewhat.

_I'll be fine_. Thaddeus told himself. He was as prepared as he ever could be.

He opened the Scroll and the world around him vanished.

* * *

_He was standing on the Throat of the World. There was no sign of Paarthurnax but the three great Nord heroes of ancient times, Gormlaith Golden-Hilt, Hakon One-Eye and Felldir the Old stood in the ankle-deep snow, talking among themselves._

_'We must use the Elder Scroll to defeat Alduin, it is the only way." Felldir said._

_"It's too dangerous!" Gormlaith argued._

_The sky was an unnatural hue of red and was streaked with black clouds. Comets rained down from the sky periodically, smashing into the mountainside but the Nords remained where they were, seemingly unperturbed by the spectacle._

_A black dragon soon came into view, circling around the peak. It gave out a terrible roar as it glided closer to the warriors._

_Alduin._

_"Let those that watch from Sovngarde envy us this day!" Gormlaith declared._

_The Nords stood together and Shouted at the black foe._

_"Joor. Zah. Frul!"_

_Alduin snarled in defiance and vainly attempted to stay airborne before he alighted onto the mountain's peak, flattening the snow around him. His black scales became dotted with blue, glowing spots as he moved his wings sluggishly, unable to use them for their true purpose. His callous, blazing red eyes bore into his foes and he spoke in a deep, rumbling voice. _

_"Meyye! Tahrodiis aanne! Him hinde pah liiv! Zu'u hin daan!"_

_Thaddeus had seen Alduin twice. Once in Helgen and the second time in Kynesgrove. He remembered the day in Helgen when those same red eyes glared down at him from atop a watch tower before flattening the town and how that same voice spoke to him in Kynesgrove, berating his status as Dovahkiin._ _ Even in a vision, he could feel Alduin's power, could feel his skin prickling from the dragon's mere presence._

_Alduin closed his jaws around Gormlaith and violently shook her from side to side. He tossed her to the side then attacked the surviving warriors. Her body lay bloodied and broken in the snow but her companions rallied together and met Alduin's strikes._

_"Felldir! Use the Scroll while he's down!" Hakon roared. "Use it now!"_

_Alduin turned to face Felldir and attempted to use Fire Breath on him but found his effort in vain. Felldir, armed with the Elder Scroll, opened a Time Wound and Alduin was thrust forward in time, quickly vanishing from sight._

_Thaddeus saw the two warriors standing together in quiet contemplation of their battle before his vision faded._

* * *

_Joor Zah Frul._

He blinked and found himself back in the present. It was now early morning and he basked in the sun's rays, his mind reeling over what he just witnessed. He stowed the Elder Scroll away and collected the rest of his things together before he set off.

He had to speak to Paarthurnax. He knew the Shout and now he just needed to find his enemy. The old dragon would help him. This he was sure.

He was going to fulfill his destiny as Dragonborn soon. The elf was filled with dread over the thought of it. Thaddeus would be lying if he said that he wasn't absolutely terrified of Alduin. Who wouldn't be? The black dragon was capable of destroying the world and would do so if Thaddeus failed, not before devouring the elf's soul.

Septimus would want the Lexicon back but the strange man would have to wait. There was no way that Thaddeus was going to back track and go to the Outpost, not when the fate of existence itself was weighing so heavily on his shoulders.

Ignoring his sore body, Thaddeus ventured back into the unforgiving wilderness of Skyrim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of Alduin's words: "Fools! Treacherous slaves! Your hopes (are) all withered! I (am) your doom."


	5. V.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia talks to her parents and Faendal about Thaddeus.

_ Lydia _

Lydia hadn't followed the twins' suggestion in the days following her Thane's departure. Not that she didn't try. Quite the contrary. She had sat at the desk in the alchemy lab for hours on end, attempting to put her thoughts to paper without any success. She could only go as far as 'my dearest Thaddeus' before her mind would go blank. 

So she gave up on the whole idea.

Lydia had taken care of the house as usual and would have been content to remain a total recluse were it not for Vilkas. The Companion shepherded her to Jorrvaskr to train with him every morning since Thaddeus. Lydia suspected that the Circle had some secret plan to keep her occupied while their Harbinger was away.

Vilkas, the insufferable dolt, kept teasing the housecarl about Thaddeus. The man didn't mean any harm but Lydia found her tolerance for such jokes had dried up. 

Her Thane had been gone for nearly a week. What if he didn't come back? Then Lydia would lose her chance to tell the elf how she felt about him. Life was short in Skyrim, what if she missed her one chance at happiness because she kept her true affections to herself? She kept her worries to herself, not wanting to appear childish or hysterical to others. 

Lydia berated herself. She was acting and thinking like an overly clingy housewife. Wherever Thaddeus went, Lydia followed. That's how it was and that it is how it shall remain until the housecarl drew her last breath. But she wasn't going to wither away from the elf being gone, she'd just have to get used to Thaddeus' absence.

Clearly Thaddeus had encountered some trouble on the road or the Greybeards had sent him away on another quest. He would be fine and he would return.

Lydia would tell Thaddeus the truth when he returned home, whenever that may be. She wouldn't back out of it

Despite her reservations about revealing the turmoil she was experiencing to anyone, Lydia broke down and decided to confide in her parents, Oslak and Harsi. As embarrassing as it might be, speaking to her elders would help clear her mind. She was at her wit's end.

Lydia told her parents as much as she could about Thaddeus. They knew he was her Thane and his elvish background but have never met him.

Oslak gave her a hard stare when she explained her situation to them. "An elf? Surely there must be a Nord you could pursue."

"There is but I'm not interested."

Her father sighed, disappointment written all over his face. Her father had fought against the Altmeri Dominion back in the Great War. As a result, he resented all elves he came across and wasn't shy in making his resentment known. Lydia could understand his apprehension somewhat but father or not, she would defend Thaddeus against slander and bigoted remarks. She would stand her ground.

"If you met him, you would understand why he was granted the title of Thane and Harbinger of the Companions."

"Is that so? I hope you're right Lydia. You're impulsive and I fear this is another one of your rash decisions." Her father scolded. 

Lydia turned to her mother, hoping that the elder woman would say something to rebuke her father, but Harsi remained silent. 

"This is something I have thought about for a long time," Lydia stated. "I will court Thaddeus and, Mara willing, I will marry him."

Her parents looked to each other. Her mother spoke next. "We just want to make sure that you're making the right choice dear. There's no time for a proper courtship with the war on. We're just worried that you might be rushing into things."

"If he wasn't an elf, you wouldn't be so worried."

"Elves are a deceitful bunch and wood elves are savage and unkempt. He may be civilized now but he'll show his true colours to you once you're tied down to him." Oslak pointed a finger at her in warning. "Mark my words girl."

Lydia deflated. She didn't regret being honest to her parents as she suspected that they would be upset with her. Regardless, it still hurt her that they were so unwilling to be more broad-minded about Thaddeus. They wouldn't understand why she loved her Thane. How could they? She hoped that meeting him would thaw their icy hearts. Her mother would be easier to win over but her father was extremely stubborn.

Lydia met her father's gaze. "I'll take my chances."

"I hope," Lydia continued. "That when the time comes you can give Thaddeus and I your blessing."

"I would have to meet this elf first," Oslak grumbled. "You haven't even approached him about this yet."

"When he returns, I will."

Oslak frowned, skeptical of Lydia's words. "We shall see about that Lydia, we shall see."

* * *

She was disheartened by her conversation with her parents but remained undeterred. Her father was just being a stubborn old goat. He forgot that she was just as if not more stubborn than he was. Lydia would go ahead with her plans and deal with her parents' prejudice and griping later. 

Lydia spotted Faendal's lanky figure lurking about Riverwood's lumber mill. The housecarl threw caution to the wind and marched across the bridge to the mill. She wanted to learn more about the customs of Thaddeus' people if she was to approach him about a courtship. Faendal was the only other wood elf she knew well enough that she didn't feel awkward speaking to. He was her best bet, otherwise she would consult a book about Bosmer culture like some reclusive scholar.

The elf was busy chopping wood but stopped to glance over his shoulder when he heard the Nord approach.

Faendal raised his eyebrows in surprise for a second then resumed his usual stoic mask. "Lydia, I thought you were Sven for a moment. Thought the slug-a-bed might have decided to pull his weight around here for once."

The fair-haired elf buried the blade of his axe into the chopping block. He turned to face Lydia completely. "I'm surprised Thaddeus isn't with you. Is there something I can do for you?"

Lydia gave out a nervous giggle. "I was hoping you could give me some advice on a personal matter."

Faendal tilted his head, his blank expression remaining. "A personal matter? Which is?"

"How do your people court each other?"

Faendal didn't respond right away, visibly taken aback by the question. It was probably the first time a Nord had asked him about the customs of his people. "A wood elf caught your eye? Would this elf happen to be Thaddeus?"

Lydia grimaced. She was hating this conversation already. "Yes, it is. I-I was wondering how I could....." She trailed off, unable to look Faendal in the eye when she spoke.

"Court him?"

When Lydia nodded, Faendal's lips pulled back into a sly grin. "Thaddeus you say? I can't say I'm surprised."

"What do you mean?"

"You're not very subtle, even Lucan at the Riverwood Trader noticed and that man doesn't pay much mind to anyone."

"Oh." What else was Lydia supposed to say to that? She never realized how obvious she was being to other people. She really was a terrible liar.

"Can you help me?" She asked, hurriedly returning to the initial point of their exchange. She didn't want to hear about how her adoration for Thaddeus was blatantly clear to every person who saw her.

Faendal considered her question before he answered. "Well, usually men initiate a courtship by giving a woman an article of clothing or piece of jewelry made of bone, hide, or fabric. Or a combination of the three if they're feeling particularly ambitious. Women may initiate a courtship through the same means but it's not as common."

Lydia mulled over this. "Would he be offended if I did that?"

"I doubt it. It's uncommon but not unheard of," Faendal said. "I think he would be pleasantly surprised."

"What happens when the gift is accepted then?"

"The receiver usually reciprocates the gift-giving shortly after."

"I see. At least I have an idea of what to do now," She looked at the elf imploringly. "Please, don't tell him I talked to you about this."

Faendal placed a hand over his heart. "You have my word."

It sounded easy and mundane enough. Lydia was no craftsman though. Her mother had taught her to sew and stitch fabric together to make clothing and she excelled at this. It was a skill that left her being responsible for repairing her own and Thaddeus' garments from time to time. She was a good enough seamstress but never handled leather or constructed anything out of bone. Nords didn't bother with animal bones beyond tossing them to a dog or in the trash; human bones were simply buried or placed in a tomb to be left alone and eventually forgotten.

As if sensing her thoughts, Faendal gave her upper arm a reassuring squeeze. "It's the thought and intent behind the gift that matters Lydia."

The housecarl thanked Faendal and bid him farewell.

Lydia returned home. She had salmon and chicken that she could pluck the bones out of and make a pendant of. She also had a wolf pelt but nothing in terms of fabric. She would have to go pay Belethor's shop a visit for that. The Breton always had a wide assortment of materials so she could easily make do with whatever he had in store.

Then the thought hit her: she could make Thaddeus a cloak. It was practical and her Thane would undoubtedly wear it. Warmth spread through her chest at the mental picture of Thaddeus wearing something she painstakingly crafted. If he accepted it, he would wear it proudly, bragging that his beloved had made it for him. She could imagine the cloak being a deep, soulful shade of green to match the lush colour of his forest home.

Lydia would have to make it a rather attractive cloak. Thaddeus liked to be practical but he cared for his appearance.

There was still time left in the day. The shops would still be open and she could buy the materials she wanted before getting to work. Lydia bounded up the stairs and grabbed her purse of septims from her bedside drawer. She left home and headed down the street, determined to fulfill her mission.


End file.
